Vegas recovery

I think I'm finally fully recovered from Vegas. We left on the 2nd and got back last Wednesday. Basically a week's recovery time...pretty standard. Thing is, it wasn't a typical Vegas trip. I didn't place a single bet, go to any club (clothing optional or otherwise), hit any buffets. Hell, I didn't even drink a drop of alcohol. Half the time we weren't even on the strip. And when we were, it was in the podunk Monte Carlo.

Sounds like an absolute blast, I know. Reason we were there is cuz Sandy was grading an actuarial exam. These losers actually volunteer to grade actuarial exams (for free, in case you guys didn't understand the 'volunteer' part). After spending however many years studying for these brutal exams, you'd think they'd want absolutely nothing to do with them. Guess not.

And the cheap ass actuary heads booked these slaves in the ghetto ass Monte Carlo. You'd think they'd show some gratitude and shell out some actual cash. That whole actuary thing is such a racket, but that's for later. If I hadn't first walked thru the lobby first, I woulda thought we were staying at a Comfort Inn. The room was not good. The bathroom was average, at best. The handle on the faucet wasn't even attached. I was scared to put my dirty feet to the nasty ass carpet in case I'd catch herpes or something. Who knows in Vegas.

The other half of our trip was spent in the suburbs with Victor and Tammy. Even when we were on the strip, we'd spend our nights back in the burbs. I had the Monday free to myself. Instead of spending the day gambling, cruising the strip, at the bar or talking politics with the friendly strippers, I spent the day dancing and cooking with my 2 ½ year old niece. Very wild, I know.

The highlight of the weekend was getting to shop at Target. Yes, that's the retail store with the red bullseye logo. It's not Vegas code for sex shop. Highlight shoulda been Costco, but Sandy wouldn't let me go cuz we had already bought a lot of stuff and didn't want our luggage to be overweight. Target was so awesome that I went to two different stores a total of at least 3 times. It was so euphoric that I actually lost count.

We're so deprived of shopping here in Bermuda that my heart actually skipped a beat when I walked in retail stores. Target and its big open space: love it. Best Bath and Beyond and their tall ass wall of kitchen goodies: amazing. Best Buy and those damn blue shirts: score! Sadly, Wal-Mart is just depressing. Even in the parking lot, Sandy and I were like...damn, this place is fuckin ghetto. Walking thru the Wal-Mart is almost the equivalent of driving thru the streets of 3rd world countries.

The food highlight of my trip was Arby's. Twice. My fast food dilemma was Taco Bell or Arby's. Double Beef N Cheddars won out, even though I already had one at the ATL airport. No Bellagio buffet. No sushi. No steak. No oysters. But I did have like 5 Venti Java Chip Frappuccinos.

You know you're getting old and lame when the highlights of your Vegas trip consists of Target and Starbucks. Our old asses woulda prolly just died had we actually been there for something like a bachelor party.