That's racist!

One of the many reasons I like living in Bermuda is that there's no racism. Lemme clarify: there's no malicious racism. What I mean is ppl aren't yelling 'chink' or 'gook' at you, both of which have happened in the states. Out here, it's more ignorance. Just ppl not knowing any better, like they've never seen an Asian before.

When we were here for Sandy's interview, the cabbie says to us: "Oh there's ppl here that look like you guys". He wasn't trying to be a prick about it. He was just stating a fact.

When I come back from Taiwan, the customs ppl are always like..."Oh my brother loves Taiwan. He loves going to the beaches and every thing's really cheap over there." Oh, you mean your brother loves the cheap hookers in THAILAND? Or "you learned to cook food while you were there? I love Thai food!" OK, that's not really racist.

Our first winter, Sandy's coworker's cousin's boat broke off its mooring and wound up by our dock. We helped the cousin and his buddy get the boat back and give them a ride back to their place. Our conversation on the ride:

Cousin: So where you guys from?
Sandy: Oh we're from Chicago.
Cousin: Oh, sorry.
Sandy: Sorry about what. (I give Sandy a "I can't wait to hear this shit" look)
Cousin: I thought you guys were Asian.
Sandy: Oh no, we're Asian. We just grew up in the states.
Cousin: Oh.

I'm pretty sure he still had no idea what we were talking about. Did Whitey oppress you too? But how can you be mad at that? Seriously. He just had absolutely no clue. He wasn't saying it to be mean or hurtful. He was asking a legitimate question. That I can take. And I just smile and laugh it off.

But, earlier this month, we were at a restaurant to watch the Christmas boat parade. This dood at the table next to us was arguin with his wife, so he decides to chat me up.

Guy: So where you guys from?
Me: Chicago.
Guy: Oh, I'm from Boston.
Me: Cool.
Guy: Yeah....I'm surprised you're from Chicago. You look like you'd be from Asia.

That shocked me so much that I had no witty comeback. Guy couldn't even use the excuse that he's an ignorant Bermudian. He's from the states! Are there no Asians in Boston? I'm pretty sure that white shirt Paul Revere's was wearing that historic night was dry-cleaned by an Asian. But again, guy wasn't trying to be an ass. So what am I supposed to do?

Some one here once said to Sandy: "Wow, I can't believe you have no accent when you talk. Every Asian I've ever met has had an accent, and I've traveled all over the world!" Are you fucking kidding me?! Does your 'worldly travels' include the United States of America, at places other than massage parlors?! Jesus.

Seriously tho, how do you respond to stuff like this? You can't really get mad. They just don't know any better. They're just not exposed to much out here. Most of the Asians here are Filipino or other Southeast Asian ethnicity working as wait staff in restaurants. Basically Asians = Mexicans. And yes, I'm aware of the irony that I myself am a racist. But I admit it!

It's like when I was in rural part of China way back when. My mom and I walk into a store. Mom talks to the store owner in Chinese. I'm just standing next to them, bored as shit. Mom introduces me as her son. Shop owner is shocked: "That's your son? What nationality is he?" For real?! Give me a fucking break lady! We're the same peoples! You're my peoples! I'm your peoples! Or however you're supposed to say that shit. I'm gettin racism from my own fucking race. At that point, you just gotta realize you're forever fucked and give up.

At least it's better than when we were at the airport and the military dood at security takes my US passport and says in Chinese, "Let's see what a Chinese guy looks like." Later on my mom said it was meant as an insult. Too bad he was too stupid to realize my Chinese sucks ass. Booyah!

And that's still better than back in the states when a lil white kid called me "Daisuke Matsuzaka" while Sandy and I were playing tennis. Or when a group of guys drove by us after golf and yelled out the window "ching chong ping pong". Or another guy calling Sandy Michelle Wie. Or a big ass white dood calling us 'gooks' after a night of clubbing. Yeah, I wasn't drunk enough that night to get my ass beat. If you're biceps are bigger than my thighs, say whatever you want bro.

So yeah, I'll take stupid over nasty any day.