Home and fat

After almost a month away, I am back in good ol Bermuda. Went for a long run this morning? Why? Cuz I've gained 16.5 freakin pounds! I am 2.5 lbs away from 190. That is freakin ridiculous. I wouldn't even believe it if I didn't have this massive blob of fat oozing over my sweatpants. Yes, I am now one of those disgusting fat ppl that can't fit anything besides sweatpants. At least I don't have the sweaty ass crack...at least I don't think. I dunno, the dogs aren't trying to lick me or anything.

How do you even gain so much weight so fast?! (It's become so bad that I just typed "fat" instead of "fast") Oh yeah, by stuffing your face every meal every day for three weeks straight and doing zero exercise, unless you count walking to the park with my grandparents. My grandparents are 89, so no, I don't count that as exercise. At least they weren't doing laps around me, I guess. My grandparents didn't like me eating out all the time, and I wanted to hang out with them, so I'd eat at home with them. But I also didn't want to miss out on any of the delicious food out there, so I'd sneak out AFTER I already ate. So it'd basically be 2 sittings for one meal.

My plan to workout while I was out there was just a sad failure. The big gym up the street actually had a free 3 day pass, but I was too lazy to go. Cam and I talked about it more than once, but we never made the attempt to go workout. We'd go somewhere to eat instead. I thought about running at the park we'd go to, but that didn't turn out so well either. I figure I could just follow the exercise routine my grandparents used. I actually thought about running up and down the stairs at home. They lived on the 16th floor, so it would have been pretty good exercise. I can't say for sure tho cuz I never ran it. Hell, I never even walked it. Closest I got to working out was walking during a round of golf. Even then, I only walked a couple holes, and that was mostly because I was looking for my ball.

I'm like the greedy, fat kid in Willy Wonka who wants to eat absolutely every thing in sight. One night, Cam and I went out for steak. I ended up having four orders of foie gras. FOUR. I ordered an appetizer for each of us, which was basically two for me cuz I knew he didn't want it. Then I had foie gras on top of my ribeye. Yum. My mom asked us to bring home an order of foie gras for my uncle. Turns out he didn't even want it, so I ate that one too.

One of my new favorite foods out there was intestine. It's cut up into lovely, fatty pieces. Once I said to my mom..."This kinda smells and tastes like shit." Oh, I wonder why that is! Maybe that's cuz it used to hold shit! Didn't really bother me. Still tasted delish.

I have no idea how I'm going to lose this weight. I'll hafta run every single day. I'm going to not shower until after I've worked out. That will either help motivate me to get off my ass or cause Sandy to sleep in a separate bed. Since I'm not that fond of showering to begin with, I'm not sure this is the best idea. We shall see.