Underqualified

First day in my new role as "House Husband". It's kinda cool how this is an actual term on the island for shmoes like myself. So I ain't the only one! We should all get together and start a support group. "Guys, I'm having trouble finding stuff to pretend to do all day to justify my existence to my wife." My job today? Look for a scooter and car, and maybe go buy some mayo.

Speaking of scooters, those things are pretty damn scary. When I used to see those things all around Taiwan and China, I would always look at the guys on them and think they were total pussies. It's basically a bicycle with a motor for females. Weak. Lemme tell you now, those things are no joke. ATVs may look a lot more badass, but they're a cakewalk compared to scooters. 4 wheels > 2 wheels. Simple math, especially when you got someone sitting behind you. I'm surprised Sandy was willing to get on the back of that thing with me. I'm surprised I didn't drive us off a cliff or into an uncoming car. At least the basket is in the back and not the front, unlike my bike in 4th and 5th grade. Money.

First order of business tho...get some breakfast from the hotel. In order to be a responsible House Husband, you gotta make sure you look the screen door and front door so the dogs don't bust out. If you lose your wife's two loves, it's pretty much a guarantee that you'll be fired as House Husband and not receive a glowing reference from your employer. So make sure you grab the keys before you leave. Check. Grab a couple muffins and a yogurt, so you can go and watch SportsCenter while you eat. Get back to the room, pull out the keys I remembered to put in the pocket of one of my new pairs of Jordan shorts...it's too bad I need to get into the room and not start the scooter. Yup, grabbed the wrong keys. How is that even possible!? They don't even look the same! It's two small keys on a small yellow keychain vs. one large key on a large green keychain. Nice. Maybe I shouldn't leave the room the rest of the day....