The Girl with the Wet Butt

I had 2 rules when I was picking out a scooter:

1. It had to be cute (e.g. a white scooter would be considered cute, particularly a white Vespa).
2. It couldn’t be too heavy because then I wouldn’t be able to reverse or park it.

So, the suspense is probably killing you and I’m sure you are dying to know what I ended up picking. Drum roll please….we bought a black Peugeot Sum Up. So now you must be wondering to yourself what this bike looks like and if it fits my 2 requirements. The bike is a monstrosity. It’s humungous and definitely not what one would consider cute. In fact, it’s a total boy bike (if you google it, you will see why). So I must have picked it for its light weight and easy maneuverability? Wrong again. For some odd reason, it felt light to me when I looked at it in the store and bought it. I didn’t test drive it or anything because I hate to test drive things. We pick up the bike yesterday afternoon, and I have to drive it with Jim on the back since he doesn’t have his license. We pull out of the store and I’m swerving like a crazy person. I have to drive this thing the whole 45 minutes back home. I attribute all the crazy swerving to the fat person that I have to carry on the back (that would be Jim, who really isn’t fat but weighs much more than me, which clearly throws the balance off). So I’m feeling a bit adventurous this morning and decide I’ll drive myself to the ferry in my new scooter and be a real Bermudian. I take the scooter off the brake and start to reverse it. I should mention that our driveway is somewhat on an incline so I have to push this huge monstrosity of a scooter up a hill backwards (in my flip flops). I start to push….the thing won’t budge. WTH, it felt so light in the store! So I put all my weight into it and everything starts tipping sideways. I can’t hold it up anymore, so the bike falls to the side. Oops. The guy specifically said that wouldn’t void the warranty, phew. I pick it up and push and push with all my weight and I finally manage to get it to turn. Get on the bike and I’m off. It’s not actually too bad when I’m driving. Get to the ferry, pull up the parking space. Now it’s time to reverse into the space. I try to do it while I’m on the bike without much success. So I get off, and struggle and struggle with the 10,000 lb. bike to get it into the spot while everyone waiting for the ferry is staring at me in amusement. Great, I’m sure I look totally like I fit in now. Finally get the beast into the space, lock up my helmet and go to stand in line for the ferry.

So it’s like 75 degrees out and sunny today. I thought I’d be adventurous and enjoy the Bermudian air and sit on the top deck of the ferry, right on the side so I can let the wind blow through my hair. I should mention I am the only person sitting on the side. I sit down, the seat is all wet. Oops, I forgot that everything is wet when you wake up in Bermuda. I sit there, we start moving, my hair starts whipping around wildly in the wind. We get to town, my hair is all tangled, my butt is all wet. I walk into the office looking like I just went through a hurricane.

Driving test today, hope it goes better than my morning did :(