Titanic

I have not had a Bermudian idiot moment in a while. I did not want to disappoint my two readers. Lucky for them, I'm still an idiot. So two weekends ago, Sandy had a big ol BBQ. She woke up bright and early that Saturday morning and went to the store. Normally we'd want me shopping with her, but I guess this time she didn't want me nagging her about her $700 in groceries. Yes, the prices are outrageous, but I guess there's still 15 quarter-pound hamburger patties and a buncha hot dogs still sitting in our freezer. This after we ate BBQ leftovers for lunch and dinner all last week. Anyways, it was a success. I think around 15 ppl showed up, including Ben and Smita's friends from the states.

So the next day, we offer to take them out on our boat, show them the island. Sandy packs a big ol bag full of drinks and snacks. Hop on the scooter down to the marina. I go grab the boat. Only problem is our kayak is missing. Someone stole our kayak! I didn't bother tying it up cuz none of the other punts were and every one's always saying how there's no theft in Bermuda! Stupid me actually believed it. Can't really say anything cuz it's not even like it's our kayak.

So I had to "borrow" someone else's punt to get out to the boat. I lift part of the back cover and get in the boat. Half my calf is greeted by cold water. Freakin back of the boat is filled with water. Back of the boat also happens to be where the batteries and all the electrical is. For some reason, I still thought the boat would start. Nope. Looking back, I guess I'm lucky I didn't shock myself to death like those "hairdryer in the tub" movie scenes.

Take the punt back to the dock to tell Sandy our boat is kaputz. She calls B&S to break the bad news. We ask one of the attendants if he's got any buckets to help us get water out of our stupid boat. He ends up dumping out one of those motor oil bottles and cuts the top off. Sandy and I row back out to the boat where I spent the next couple hours removing water from our boat, a couple ounces at a time. Sandy spent that time working on her tan. That and she'd wave at all the people and their dumbfounded looks as they passed by us in their dry boats. Not embarassing at all. I'm sure all the marina people got a kick out of it too. "Look, that idiot that was pulling his boat in the water's now dumping water out of his boat."

So apparently our bilge pump wasn't working properly. And the front cover of our boat ripped, so rain would come in through the front of our boat and accumulate. Sad part is I meant to check on the boat the week before we left for Taiwan, but of course I didn't cuz I was too busy doing shit. Then when I came back from Taiwan after having been gone for almost a month, I was going to check on the boat. Again, I didn't cuz I was too busy doing more shit. So the boat basically went unattended for almost two months. Had I stopped by to check on the boat once during that period of time, who knows, all of this may have been avoided. Lady at the marina said the noticed the front cover flapping around for at least a week and saw the boat getting lower and lower every day. Too bad it didn't just sink.

It's getting fixed now and should be done this week. I spent today applying two coats of wax to the sides of the boat. These two guys that are at the marina a lot stopped by to comment on what a good job I was doing and how shiny the boat looked. Then they recognized me and called me "the swimmer". I am known as the fucking swimmer. Sweet. I am famous.