Lobster Man

9/23/10 will officially be known as Lobster Day- the day yours truly caught a lobster by himself. 3, in fact. Oh what a joyous day it was! Before that day, I was convinced that I'd never be able to catch one myself. The first time I went was a total shit show. I think I went twice last season, three times at most. Didn't even see a lobster, yet alone catch one. I couldn't even catch a non-moving lobster shell!

I was such a loser that I couldn't even hold my breath long enuff to dive down far enuff to even look for lobsters. I'd just be snorkeling on the surface, hoping a lobster would jump into my noose. I even spent hundreds of dollars buying all this cool gear to use. Obviously, the more expensive the equipment, the better you'll automatically be.

It's definitely not an easy thing to do. You can't use scuba gear, so you hafta rely on a snorkel and being able to hold your breath. Lobsters usually aren't walking around in the open. They're hiding in caves at the bottom of coral reefs. And it's not like they're holed up in every single reef. There's gotta be hundreds of thousands of reefs around Bermuda. First you hafta find the right reef where lobsters are. That alone is hard to do. I've gone days without seeing anything. Then you gotta be able to dive down and find said lobster. Finally, you hafta get your noose behind the lobster's tail, without scaring it off, all the while holding your breath. It's pretty frustrating and scary when you're down in the water and know you're running outta breath.

So before the season started this year, I spent some time in the pool just practicing holding my breath. That and diving. Musta worked cuz I caught 3 lobsters in one day by myself! The first day of the season, Ben and I went out. Ben caught both, but I assisted on one by spotting it. I went for the catch and missed, but scared it off to Ben. So really I didn't catch anything myself. My few attempts we pathetic. Way too rushed. Useless.

Went out once with Victor around my birthday. We weren't out long, but that day I couldn't even seem to hold my breath long enuff to dive down. Pretty much reconfirmed the fact that I suck at lobster diving.

Greg, Coral and Monty arrived back on the 22nd. They wanted to go spear fishing, so I figured I'd bring my lobster gear too. Get some practice in. Wasn't expecting to see anything, definitely not catch anything. I was so sure I wasn't gonna catch anything that I didn't even bring the lobster bag with me. Find a lobster at the first reef we stop at. I'm shocked as hell. I'm actually able to catch it after a couple tries. Score! No lobster bag tho, so I hafta swim with it back to the boat.

These lobster nooses are good for catching but not strong enuff for transport. The lobster will eventually be able to wiggle itself free. You hafta hold onto it with your hand and keep its tail outta the water. Their tails are actually really strong, which I guess would explain why they're so meaty. One flap can send the lobster back 10 yards underwater. So I had my light and pole spear in one hand, lobster up in the air outta the water in the other. The noose is dangling from the lobster's tail.

I get to the boat and throw all the stuff onto the boat. I jump on the boat, only to notice that my lobster noose is nowhere to be found. Holy shit, it musta slipped off the lobster when I was throwing it on the boat! Now it’s prolly down at the bottom of the ocean. Normally, that’d be the end of it. Too bad that thing cost me $80, and I’m a serious cheap ass. So I dive down to just see how deep it might be. Might not be too bad cuz we’re pretty close to a reef. It’s freakin deep. I’m already gasping for air by the time I’m able to kick my way down and see sand. How are you supposed to find a stick on the bottom of an ocean floor?! I seriously felt like I could die down there. But I don’t give up. This is $80 we’re talking about! I spend about 30 minutes just trying to expand my lungs. I dive down a couple more times but can barely even get down to the bottom again, let alone spend time looking around for my noose.

Just when I’m about to give up, the skies part and the sun shines down on me. It felt like God giving me a sign. So I give it one more go. Somehow, someway I’m able to get down to the bottom, look around, find the noose, swim to the noose, grab it and feverishly kick my way back up to the surface. As I’m down in the water looking up, it seriously looks like I’m kicking my way up to heaven. Musta been at least 50 meters deep. I have no idea how I did it.

Anyways, hit up another reef. Find two lobsters in a cave. Again, I don’t bring my lobster bag cuz I’m positive I’m not gonna get lucky again. Catch the first lobster. I get greedy, so I call Greg to come over and hold onto the lobster while I try for the second one. The second lobster is somehow still down there, and I’m somehow able to snag that one as well. Two more lobsters! Greg lets go of the first lobster before I’m able to get a good grip on it. Shit! Serves me right for being greedy. You’re only allowed 2 lobsters anyways.

Since then I’ve been out 3 more times but have only caught 1 more lobster. This last time with Cam and Justin, I actually saw 4 but wasn’t able to get a single one. I actually had one on my noose, but it somehow kicked itself out before I’m able to get my hands on it. It’s actually walking around on the ground, within arms reach, and I’m still not able to get it. Freakin ridiculous. Still, four lobsters is four more than I thought I’d ever get.